As some of you know, the past three weeks I’ve been a bit distracted with a Hopscout mom blogger search. It seemed like a good opportunity to actually get paid for what I already do and expose my blog to a whole new audience. On Mother’s Day, they announced the new hires and I was not among them. I won’t lie, I was upset. And with any emotional event, I went through a laundry list of different ones: shock, anger, regret, sorrow, depression. In sum, I felt like a failure.
I’ve always been my harshest critic, but now that I’m a mom, on top of my own self-criticism, I follow-up with: “How can I set an example of success for my daughter if I’m always failing? How can I tell her she can achieve her dreams if she works hard when that hasn’t been the case for me? How do I give my daughter the self esteem to keep working at her goals until she achieves them?” I know, can I put any more pressure on myself?
I could probably list a host of clichés now about doors opening and closing, what was meant to be, blah blah blah. What I will say instead, is what my dear husband told me when we found out that I didn’t get the job. He told me that if you talk to the most successful people, they talk about their failures not their successes. You have to fail in order to succeed. It’s in those moments that you pick yourself and keep on going that you become stronger.
I’m trying to stay positive and look at this as a learning experience. I’m going to try to stop looking for the answers elsewhere by working for other companies and achieve success on my own terms – with my own websites. As Ali said, why can’t my site get funding like Hopscout? Good question.
This experience more than anything has inspired me. Inspired me to focus on my websites. Inspired me to do more video blogging. Inspired me to define success on my own terms. Inspired me to be the best role model for my daughter and let her know it’s ok to fall sometimes so long as you always get back up. I’m not going anywhere – and neither is Babyzilla.